noriko aoyama

NORIKO AOYAMA ⁄ 青山紀子

Profile

I am trying to explore my subconscious and visualize it. This is because I was able to be healed and take a positive attitude by doing so. I have lived in the world of commercial photography for a long time, but for the rest of my days, I would like to look at and express the difficulty of being alive and the darkness of the heart that we all experience.
私は自身の潜在意識を探りそれを視覚化しようとしている。そうすることで癒され前を向くことができたからだ。長らく商業写真の世界で生きてきたが、残りの人生を誰でも抱えている心の闇や生きづらさに目を向け、表現していきたい。
Awards
・2020 : Critical Mass Finalist Top 200
・2020 : 15th Julia Margaret Cameron Awards , 4 Honorable Mentions
・2020 : PX3 Prix de la Photographie de Paris , Honorable Mention
・2020 : International Photography Awards( IPA2020 ) , Honorable Mention
・2018 : International Photography Awards( IPA2018 ) , Honorable Mention

Activities
・2020 : Solo exhibition - Gallery Storks
・2020 : SAMURAIFOTO group exhibition
・2019 : NOVOSIBIRSK INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF CONTEMPORARY PHTOGRAPHY in Russia
・2018 : Portfolio Reviews at FOTOFEST international (Houston)
・2017-2018 : SAMURAI FOTO group exhibition

Projects

Since I was young, I was haunted by negative emotions like loneliness and emptiness. On one hand, I wanted to escape these dark emotions, but on the other hand, I feared discovering the truth about the depths of my heart in order to find the cause. Because I enjoy rock climbing, I ventured into nature many times. During one of these instances, I began to take photographs that cut out a portion of the scenery instead of capturing the scenery itself. Then, I noticed that the existence of the lump that produces these dark emotions had been captured. “Articulating the Subconscious Mind ” is a confrontation of what lies in the subconscious. Through "My Mother's Life : A Woman from the Showa Era," I visualized the process of my disdain for my mother turning into respect as I produced my works. I continue production with the desire of liberating the minds of people like me.

私は幼い頃から孤独感や虚無感といったネガティブな感情に襲われてきた。その暗い感情から逃れたい一方で、その原因を探るために心の奥底をつまびらかにすることを恐れていた。岩登りを好む私は何度も大自然に足を運んだ。あるときからそこで風景ではなくその一部を切り取った写真を撮るようになった。すると、そこに黒い感情を生む塊の正体が写っていた。そうして無意識下にあるものと対峙したのが“Articulating the Subconscious Mind ”である。「昭和の女ー母の人生」では作品を制作するにつれ、母への軽蔑が尊敬に変わっていった過程を視覚化した。私のような誰かの心をも解放したいと製作を続けている。

“ My Mindfulness“ (2019- )
Amidst the panic caused by the coronavirus, I was diagnosed with a malignant tumor. Thankfully it was detected early, so I was able to have it safely removed, but between that and the anxiety caused by the coronavirus pandemic I felt like my mind was a torment of negativity. My sense of normality had suddenly crumbled, and it felt like this tumult would only continue. That's when I realized how important it was to keep myself in a neutral state of mind; to avoid being consumed by my emotions. So what was I to do? I tried many different things while I was shut away in my home. I went about organizing my old 4x5 films, initially as nothing more than a trip down memory lane. But as I was editing these old photos, I became engrossed in combining them with new photos of everyday subjects. I was focused solely on the sensations of beauty & intrigue. It ended up becoming an endeavor in maintaining my neutral state of mind by way of observing the past & present objectively. 
「私のマインドフルネス」
コロナウィルスの恐怖に襲われる中、悪性腫瘍が見つかった。幸い早期発見で事無きを得たが、コロナ禍での不安とこの出来事で私は負の感情に苛まれた。突然日常が壊れることはこれからもあるだろう。そのとき自分の感情にのみ込まれないためにはニュートラルな精神状態でいることが必要だと痛感したのだ。 それにはどうすべきか。閉じこもった家の中で私はいろいろと試した。昔撮影した4x5フィルムを整理するもそれはただの思い出巡りにすぎなかった。しかし過去の写真に手を加え、身近な被写体を撮影して組み合わせてみると我を忘れた。ただ美しい、あるいは面白いという感覚だけに集中する。それはまさに私にとって過去と現在を客観視してニュートラルな精神状態を保つ試みとなった。
・Media Size: 420x594mma(16.5x23.4inch) — image size:361x361mma(14.2x14.2inch), Edition:10
・Media Size: 329x483mma(13x19inch) — image size:280x280mma(11x11inch),Edition:10
・Media:Japanese traditional paper (Bamboo Washi)
・Number of worksː 6
・Project progressː Ongoing

01_MyMindfulness

01_MyMindfulness

02_MyMindfulness

02_MyMindfulness

03_MyMindfulness

03_MyMindfulness

04_MyMindfulness

04_MyMindfulness

05_MyMindfulness

05_MyMindfulness

06_MyMindfulness

06_MyMindfulness

My Mother’s Life : A Woman from the Showa Era- (2019- )
My mother was born in 1932, during the Showa era. It was considered a virtue that the wives at that time should be obedient to the husbands. My father was authoritarian and tyrannical and my mother had obeyed him, like a slave. I had been looking down on her way of life. But seeing my mother taking care of my father devotedly until the day he died, my way of thinking about my mother’s life had changed. I think my mother just fulfilled her role as a woman in the Showa era. She might have struggled with my father’s tyranny and resigned herself to her fate. She had accepted everything and lived strongly. In my artworks, I want to express her inner fortitude as a woman living through the era of the Showa.
「昭和の女ー母の人生」
昭和7(1932)年生まれの母の時代、日本女性は夫に従順である事が美徳とされた。私は権威主義的で横暴な父に隷属する母を軽蔑していたが、父が亡くなるまで世話をする姿を見て、母はその時代の女性に課せられた役目を立派に果たしてきたと感じたのだ。苦しみや諦めの中にあった母の女性としての誇りを表現しようと試みた。
・Media Size: 420x594mm(16.5x23.4inch),image size:363x544mm(14.3x21.4inch), Edition:10
・Media Size: 329x483mm(13x19inch),image size:289x432mm(11.4x17inch),Edition:10
・Media: Japanese traditional handmade paper (Washi)
・Number of worksː 15
・Project progressː Finished

01_my mother's life

01_my mother's life

02_my mother's life

02_my mother's life

03_my mother's life

03_my mother's life

04_my mother's life

04_my mother's life

05_my mother's life

05_my mother's life

07_my mother's life

07_my mother's life

10_my mother's life

10_my mother's life

11_my mother's life

11_my mother's life

12_my mother's life

12_my mother's life

13_my mother's life

13_my mother's life

14_my mother's life

14_my mother's life

15_my mother's life

15_my mother's life

 

Articulating the Subconscious Mind (2017- )
I couldn't accept the idea of natural objects such as rocks, water and land. I have tried to discover what is hidden behind my subconscious mind by reconstructing what they really are. Some complicated feelings toward my parents, which I have never expressed in words before are reflected in my photographs and I realized those feelings had tormented me without knowing by myself. In order to relief myself from the negative feelings and regain the balance of life, I will confront the source of my unconscious mind.
私は自然の岩や水、大地といった概念を否定し、自分の中で再構築する事で無意識下にある物を探ろうとしている。両親に対する言葉にしてこなかった複雑な思いが写真に写り込んでいて、意識の外で自分を苦しめていたことに気がついたからだ。負の感情から解放され心の均衡を取り戻すために、私はこれからも無意識下にある物と対峙していく。
・Media Size: 420x594mm(16.5x23.4inch),image size:363x544mm(14.3x21.4inch), Edition:10
・Media Size: 329x483mm(13x19inch),image size:289x432mm(11.4x17inch),Edition:10
・print media: Hahnemühle German Etching
・Number of worksː 15
・Project progressː Finished

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